"There is some self-interest behind every friendship.
There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
I am sure the definition of Friendship has changed for me with age. Or maybe I had never made the effort to define friendship when I was young. Friends have always been very important in my life. When friends hurt, it is hard….as hard as a break up. Here is a letter I once wrote to a precious friend. It was an attempt to show my anger, make her feel how important her friendship was to me. Now it’s a lost friendship. Honestly it does not matter anymore…..or may be it does.
And it's not been easy for me since last week. What makes it further worse is that "You don't care". Well I realize u have your own reasons for this attitude as u have other priorities to look into presently.
It's been quite a number of times now that u have hurt me but; as they say time is the best remedy. When silence hits us, I donno about u but I can't stand the sight of you, others talking about u and even of office….as this is where we met.
Isn't it strange that two people, who have had uncountable silent, meaningful conversations.....who have had opened their hearts to each other......shared the darkest secrets of their lives.......laughed and cried with the biggest forces of nature...........made each other feel so special.......are not together at one of the most important phases of their life.
May be that's what life is all about ......... growing in life is all about........relationship is all about and........above all this; accepting that u have failed in one of the most important relationship u had, in spite of all the investments made.
Before I met u....I had accepted that "All relationships come with an expiry date", but u made me re-believe that friendship does exist. N that life could be soo.....soo simple just because of one person. I really meant it..... "Few people make this world a better place just by being in it."
This time though, you have hurt me really badly. The only question that would have struck my mind a million times over the last week was, “how can a person like u who could decipher even my silence, while the world seemed unnoticed be so indifferent." How can this person develop this attitude that I would have understood if I were a friend? Friend???????????
I think u and me barely know the meaning of this heavy word. It has been so hard to look into ur eyes or even ur face. All I could see is hatred for me.
Really don't want to get into the discussion of what happened and all or answer the question asked by u, that, if I felt bad about something. I expect a person of ur space in my life to know it anyways. And may be that was my biggest mistake. .... "Expect".
Donno whats going to be the impact of this letter. I mean may be as in the past like that crying phone call of mine, or those flowers I got for u all the way to ur home.........this letter may break the ice and we may just hug, cry n get over all this. Or may be this may just be a letter of words. Whatever it is, I just could not handle anymore, all the hatred in my broken heart I had been carrying for you all day and night in the last long-long week. And it had to vent out. Thought this could be the easiest way an escapist like me could possibly choose. Can't deny the fact that whatever it may turn out to be, "It won't matter five years from now."
The wounds though invisible are deep sure for u also. Just that u have other diversions to concentrate into. N whatever it is, ones own agony is all any person can see and I am no different.
Don't really know how to conclude this letter. N whatever it is I shall always wish to see u smiling.
