"Please tell me the secret to true and unending happiness?" said the young man..
What is the purpose of our existence, when our creation itself was something we had no control over. We are born into this intricate framework of the environment that surrounds us and that teaches us to be just the way they would want us to be, without ever giving us a chance of being what we wanted to be. Is our presence just meant to satisfy the whims and fancies of others. Are we here just to please and nod and keep those who are close to us and those who are not so close to us, happy? I hope not. I guess not.
Our childhood is a journey along the path that our parents have chosen for us. We are just meant to tread that path without a single ounce of doubt in our minds about the reason we are doing so. How many of us would've had a part in deciding which school we wanted to go to, which religion were we supposed to follow, which people to talk to, which people to not talk to, what habit to avoid and what attitude to inculcate in ourselves. By the time we are smart enough to realize the importance of questioning our own beliefs, we are left alone to struggle and find our niche in a terrible terrible world.
Man was meant to be sad. Happiness comes in small packages. We can never be happy for long periods of time because we were never designed that way. It always takes an effort to be happy. Being gloomy comes naturally to all. The greatest pleasure in this world is to make someone else smile. The biggest compliment that you can achieve, is to have someone say to you, that you put a smile on their face. Happiness is a myth that is created by the absence of misery. The exalted emotions achieved during the state of being happy are just the forebodings of the darkness that is to follow. The search of true happiness ends when you start enjoying your misery, for gloom would never be able to bother you anymore.
All relationships in this world are a trade. The reason a guy loves a girl is totally different from the reason the girl loves the guy back. Both of them have their own selfish motives behind the so called emotion of love that they experience. It's also true that no one would ever be ready to accept the fact that true love doesn't exist. The biggest fact that supports that statement is the reason that the emotion of love cannot be expressed without using the most selfish word in the whole of English language, "I". A mother loves her child, so that she can be loved back. Your parents want you to get married and have kids because they want to be happy by seeing you happy. In all this scheme of things where was the individual that is characterized by your existence, 'lost' ?
Individualism is a virtue that has been buried in the annals of our history over and over again by the norms of the society. There has been an endless struggle between a person's individuality and his environment's perception of the human being. To come out of the matrix, you have to be a rebel. A rebel against the establishment. Against the institution. Against the principles and norms of the world that surrounds you. The question that arises immediately is, whether we can do all that by being a part of the system or do we have to give everything up and wander in search of peace of mind.
The answer as always, lies within you. The solutions to your problems can only be provided by you yourself and no one else. There was a time when we could accept things just the way they were and move along with life. We were assured that the pain, that we all feel now, would recede in due course of time and that we would emerge stronger and more mature. We were assured that everyone was going through the same ordeal and that we were not all alone in the wide ocean. But does that help me now. Well, maybe for a while. Why do I wait in anticipation of something magical happening to me. Why don't I act now ?
Be an individual. You are not defined by your job. You are not defined by your car. You are not defined by your house. You are not defined by your wealth. You are not defined by your family, your kids, your wife, your parents or your siblings. You are what you are. That is the plain and simple fact that we have chosen to ignore, or have never contemplated about or in certain cases, have been never introduced to. When you start living for yourself, you'd understand the true essence of living.
It's like being attached and still not having any bonds with someone. If it comes down to it, you should be able to walk out of your life, or what you imagine your life to be, right that moment, without having any second thoughts, or any regrets. I wonder if anyone of us could ever do that. But we have to be the change that we want to bring. The secret lies in having the clarity in your thoughts, the conviction of your mind and the patience in your endeavor.
Things, they have a habit of changing. They also have a habit of changing at an excruciatingly slow pace. You cannot rush into something that you'd want to be. An extreme reaction from you, would provoke an equally violent reaction from your surroundings. It's always better to ease into certain things. Let the feeling sink in. Once the environment is used to the fact that you are in the process of a steady change, it learns to adapt itself very smartly. Every once in a while, you'd definitely have hiccups in the way. You just have to carry on.
The problem that our generation is facing is unique. This is not similar to the problems of adolescence or the mid-life crisis, that can be solved with proper guidance and counselling. This is the problem of a more generic nature that affects each and everyone who has experienced a modern day life in a modern day world. What we need is to stand together and stand strong. The solution lies not in accepting the problem, but in fighting it. We have to search for a way out and not wait for the light at the end of the tunnel, for that tunnel might never end. We have to be the flag-bearers and set an example where others can follow.
In an ideal world, things would be much simpler. You'd say what you wanted to without bothering about the repercussions. You'd also listen to what someone had to say to you, without any prejudice and without being judgmental about the individual. You'd trade love, hate, happiness, sadness, ecstasy, depression, obsessions and fantasies with everyone without distinction. You'd be defined by you yourself and your actions and not by the society around you. You'd be the creator, preserver and the destroyer of your own destiny. You'd be a part of the crowd and yet have your own identity. You'd be with your partner and yet be single. You'd have kids and yet be independent. You'd have parents and yet be unburdened. You'd have friends and yet have no expectations. You'd have emotions and yet be numb. You'd be busy and yet be free. You'd be sad and yet be glad.
But above all, you'd be an INDIVIDUAL..
